Sunday, January 25, 2015

Help Needed: Strength Hope Peace Joy Love

Psalm 34:18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.




Forgive me, but my heart is heavy. Today was so hard and sometimes it seems like no one can understand what the hours are like parenting special needs children. I feel so alone sometimes. And my husband, bless his heart, is overwhelmed, as I am. He escapes at work and when he comes home and OCD and other disorders rear their ugly heads, he wants nothing but to go back to work. So talking to him is not the best choice.

Some of you online can understand, but no friend here in the flesh can. Often it's better to keep quiet to avoid being judged. People do judge you when your kids have problems. They try to figure out what you're doing wrong. I'm sure I'm doing a lot of things wrong, but nothing worse than the mother with "normal" children.

My son Peter has in some respects recovered well from his concussion, but there seems to be a very real and prolonged effect on his OCD, worsening it. He can be so affected at times that he even looks strange, as though he's schizophrenic and hears voices. I know that isn't the case, but I mourn the look of panic and fear and pain in his eyes. I mourn the worsening and fight my own fear--fear that for his whole life he'll be paralyzed by this disorder and all his plans to go to Uganda and help the farmers there--the abject poor and the unsaved, will be thwarted

It doesn't matter to me what he does for a living as long as it's honest and can bring glory to God, but I know what stirs passion within him. It's the Gospel...sharing it, proclaiming it, living it, along with the things of the earth that proclaim His greatness and majesty...seeds, soil, trees, plants, flowers, birds. 

Today is Saturday and the weekends are rarely good with special needs children battling executive function disorders. They're off kilter, cranky, combative, stressed, all for no obvious reason, other than their routine being off. It doesn't make sense to schedule a weekend day like you would a Monday-Friday. It just isn't fair to the rest of the family and it doesn't train the affected child in how to self-monitor and regulate. 

The best part of the day today? The kids and I were busy cleaning the house before lunch. It didn't get any better after that, which is sad and depressing for all of us, because who wants Saturday cleaning to be the best part of the day?

I need strength. Strength to face OCD and ADHD another day. Strength to smile despite aggravating symptoms driving me up the wall. Strength to be something other than a snappy mother and a snappy wife. I need strength to let go of tomorrow and find the blessing in today.

Join me for a walk through Scripture? Be encouraged, because what my soul longs for so often is just a little encouragement. And maybe you too?

For Strength
Joshua 1:9 I repeat, be strong and brave! Don’t be afraid and don’t panic, for I, the Lord your God, am with you in all you do.”

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry.”


Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord is indeed going before you – he will be with you; he will not fail you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged!”

I need hope. Hope not in tomorrow or in the outcomes so much as just hope itself. Hope is the opposite of depression and discouragement. Hope is relief from the heaviness that problems bring. Hope is Heaven and the spot reserved there for me.

For Hope
Romans 5:1-5  “Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in the hope of God’s glory. Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Romans 15:13 “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

1 Peter 1:3-5 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he gave us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, that is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, who by God’s power are protected through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”

I need peace. Peace knowing that the Lord has heard the groaning of my heart and he will not forsake me. Peace that even on the most aggravating, scary days, he is in our midst, working his Plan. Peace knowing that my son has the Lord as I do, and I can trust Him to soothe and comfort Peter and my other children with his Presence. Peace that I can trust him to turn disorder into a testimony of His faithfulness. Peace knowing that we need the Lord more than those who aren't acquainted with everyday pain and disorder and ever-present dysfunction. We aren't cursed but blessed! To need the Lord is be blessed.

For Peace
Philippians 4:6-7Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 5:1 “Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 54:10 Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.

I need joy. Oh, boy do I need joy. I need it to endure the aging face I see in the mirror, for one. The face that is still a shock, because I don't feel any older. The daily struggles here accompanied by the scary aging face, don't combine well. I haven't colored my hair and I've never done anything about the acne scars that have aged me prematurely for decades. These things just are. I can't escape them and I didn't choose them. They're what the Lord chose for me, and who am I to say he made a mistake when he formed me? 

Most of all, I need joy to wear a face and a smile that convey strength and hope and peace and love. A face that says the Holy Spirit dwells in me and I am transformed by His love!

Because He does. And because I am...transformed by His love. Hallelujah.

For Joy
1 Peter 1:8-9 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Isaiah 12:6 Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you."

Isaiah 35:10 and the ransomed of the LORD will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away.

John 16:22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

Psalm 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I need love. The love of the Father. Love that is the cross. Love that makes me never thirst again. Love that says I am enough. Love that flows into me and then from me so I can bless the socks off my family.

1 John 4:10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins

Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Jeremiah 31:3 The Lord appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.

John 15:9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.

Psalm 103:11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Happy, happy Sunday to you, my friends!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Day in the Homeschooling Life, Part 2

Today I'm sharing our Tuesday-Thursday homeschool schedule. Last Tuesday I shared our Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule, but I've made some changes since then to accommodate something the girls requested, so I'm sharing the revised M-W-F schedule following the Tues-Thurs schedule, below. Our master schedule is on chart paper on the wall, in pencil, so it's easy to make changes.

My boys are aged 13 and 11, and my girls are aged 8 and 6.

I have in my midst one, maybe two cases of dyslexia, one case of ADHD (accompanied by dyscalculia and dysgraphia), 2 cases of OCD, one case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and lastly, one child suffering from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. We need structure, and we need the All About Learning Press curriculum, which was written with dyslexics in mind. Having switched this year, we're making good progress with the addition of All About Reading and All About Spelling. We still continue to enjoy the Sonlight curriculum, using their Bible, History/Literature, and Science packages.

Brother-Sister Knitting Lesson
Tuesday-Thursday Homeschool Schedule

7:30 - Wake-Up 

I'm up at 7:30, in the shower at 7:40, after inserting a load of clothes. I dress, comb and scrunch my wet, permed hair, apply make-up and make my bed, and help the six-year-old with her bed.

The kids trickle out between 7:45 and 8:10, with Beth, age 6, often up first. They make their beds, get dressed, put their pajamas in the hamper, and then play with Legos, Hot Wheels, board games or whatever. It's basically free time until 8:30, but no computer.

Personal Bible Reading - Boys

If they get to bed late the night before for some reason, I let them sleep longer, and in that case they read the Bible before ending school for the day. The boys have a check-off sheet listing each subject, and that has to be checked by me before they're finished for the day.

8:30 - Breakfast & Devotions

We eat oatmeal or Cheerios or Shredded Wheat, and then we all rinse our bowls and gather for devotions in the living room. I'm reading from the Miller Family Series, currently in their Proverbs book called Wisdom And the Miller's, to which we all look forward.

After the reading we all take turns praying about our upcoming day, about the Proverb we learned, about various needs, after first giving thanks. 

The children will brush their teeth next, and I will fix the girls' hair.

9:30 - Quick Write Journals

They write in their journals for 15 minutes, with the kindergartner either using the Draw Write Now series of books, or working with me on Handwriting Without Tears. The kindergartner will often keep working into the next segment.


Quick Write

More Quick Write

9:45 - 10:35

Notes: The boys only do Science on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so they do a lot of science these two days. Last semester they did science daily. Since we school year round, we can still get through their Sonlight Science G this year without difficulty.

Sonlight Science - Peter

Sonlight Non-fiction History Reading & Sonlight Historical Fiction Novel - Paul

Saxon Math - Mommy and Girls


A free time creation

Science with brother Peter

10:35 - 11:25

Sonlight Non-fiction History Reading & Sonlight Historical Fiction Novel - Peter

Sonlight Science -  Paul

Puzzles, Painting, PlayDoh, Drawing - Girls


Melissa and Doug puzzle fun


11:25 - 12:05 Snack and Break


12:05 - 12:30

Sonlight Science B - Peter teaches Mary (Beth does well with experiment day, but has trouble listening to the other lessons, so for now she is not included.)

AWANA - Paul works with Beth on her verses, and does his own.

Mom does laundry and cleaning, or meal prep.

12:30 - 12:55

Sonlight B Non-Fiction History - Paul teaches Mary and Beth

Proverbs - Peter aged out of AWANA, so he's working on memorizing the Proverbs we're studying in Wisdom and the Millers.

12:55 - 2:05 Lunch Break 

We practice speech sounds for a bit after they finish eating. Beth is working on /th/ in the middle and final positions. Mary and Paul are working on conversational use of /th/ and /r/. If we don't do this here, we do it after dinner, before their nightly stories.

2:05 - 2:35

All About Spelling Level 1 - Girls and Mommy

Teaching Textbooks Level 7 Math - Paul

Easy Grammar - Peter

2:35 - 3:20 

All About Spelling - Boys and Mom

Library Movie - Girls 
The boys and I are diligently trying to get through the earlier spelling levels so we can get to their appropriate level. They have to learn all the spelling rules from the earlier levels, even though they can spell the words involved, because later rules build upon the early ones. I really need the girls fully engaged and not interrupting, asking for food or drink or whatever. I give them a drink, a small snack, and they watch something they picked out from the library the previous week, since we don't have a TV signal.

3:20 - 4:00

Teaching Textbooks Math Level 7 - Peter

Easy Grammar - Paul

Folding & Putting Away Their Own Clothes - Girls (boys do this before bed if their baskets are full.)

4:00 - 4:15 Afternoon Clean-Up

We tidy up the house. I wipe down the bathrooms or sweep, and finish up kitchen chores. The kids put away anything they've left out during the day. If it gets way too messy before this, we do five- minute pick-up segments during the day.

4:15 - 6:30 Free Time (and taking turns in shower)

Free time inside or out, depending on temperature and precipitation. In other seasons, they're outside during snack break and lunch break also.

Or, complete any unfinished school work.

Mom makes dinner and conditions the 6-year-old's hair. Kids clear off table for dinner.

6:45 Dinner

Husband joins us when he arrives home at 7:00 PM. Having dinner this late isn't ideal, but it works for families in which Daddy works late.


7:30 Family Devotions & Prayer

We're currently working through Leading Little Ones to God, recommended by Sonlight as part of their Core B package.

8:10  Take vitamins, chronic-condition medicines, and brush teeth. If there are a lot of clothes in the kids' individual laundry baskets, they fold those and put them away after teeth brushing.

8:30  Daddy reads to boys. Mom reads picture books to kindergartner, and some of their Sonlight Core B read-aloud selections, if I didn't do them during the day. I try to do some at lunch too, while they eat.

8:50 Bedtime for girls 

9:20 - Bedtime for boys (Takes them some time to settle down in there, so they actually fall asleep around 9:50 PM. They like to tell each other stories.)


______________________________________________________

Monday, Wednesday, Friday

7:30 - Wake-Up 

I'm up at 7:30, in the shower at 7:40, after inserting a load of clothes. I dress, comb and scrunch my wet, permed hair, apply make-up and make my bed, and help the six-year-old with her bed.

The kids trickle out between 7:45 and 8:10, with Beth, age 6, often up first. They make their beds, get dressed, put their pajamas in the hamper, and then play with Legos, Hot Wheels, board games or whatever. It's basically free time until 8:30, but no computer.

Bible - Boys

8:30 - Breakfast & Devotions

We eat oatmeal or Cheerios or Shredded Wheat, and then we all rinse our bowls and gather for devotions in the living room. I'm reading from the Miller Family Series, currently in their Proverbs book called Wisdom And the Miller's, to which we all look forward.

After the reading we all take turns praying about our upcoming day, about the Proverb we learned, about various needs, after first giving thanks. 

The children will brush their teeth next, and I will fix the girls' hair.

9:30 - Quick Write Journals

They write in their journals for 15 minutes, with the kindergartner either using the Draw Write Now series of books, or working with me on Handwriting Without Tears. The kindergartner will often keep working into the next segment.

9:45 - 10:30 

All About Reading Level 2 - Mary (age 8) and Mommy 

Teaching Textbooks Math DVD program Level 7 - Peter (age 13)

Sonlight Historical Fiction Novel from World History Part 1 (Core G) - Paul (age 11)

Puzzles, Painting, PlayDoh, or Drawing - Beth (kindergarten)

10:30 - 11:15  (Everyone switches from the subjects above. The boys use the same curriculum so they have to rotate with some of the resources.)

All About Reading Level 1 - Beth (Grade K) and Mommy (She can only concentrate 30 minutes tops, and that's pushing it.)

Teaching Textbooks Math DVD  program Level 7 - Paul

Sonlight Historical Fiction Novel from World History Part 1 (Core G) - Peter

Puzzles, Painting, PlayDoh, or Drawing - Mary

11:15 - 11:45  Snack and Break

Children might do crafts, such as make up a miniature puppet theater, or get out the construction paper/scissors/glue, or play board games or cards after having a quick snack. If they're highly involved in their creations, this can go 20 to 30 minutes longer, but usually we stay on track.

I shuffle laundry throughout the day, including at this time. I also try to unload and load the dishwasher during this half-hour.

11:45 - 12:30 

Writing - Boys and Mommy

Making Books at Writing Center - Girls
This was something we did in the past that the girls really wanted to do again. I put out writing and drawing materials (drawing instruction books) and stapled blank books of various sizes (homemade and simple) and the girls illustrate the pages. Later I help them write the story words they dictate to me. If there's a lengthy story, I write it myself as they dictate it to me.

Split Week - The segment below, 12:30 to 1:15, is split for the girls. Monday and Friday the girls do Saxon Math with me at this time, and on Wednesday they do All About Spelling with me. This gives them 4 days per week of Math, and 3 days per week of spelling.

12:30 - 1:15 (Monday and Friday Only)

Saxon Math - Girls and Mommy (Beth, the K student, doesn't work the whole 45 minutes.)

Easy Grammar Workbooks - Boys

Paul plays the piano after grammar. He's teaching himself with piano books, with the goal of being able to play music at Christmas for his family, or hymns for his family devotions. 

12:30 - 1:15 (Wednesday Only)

All About Spelling Level 1 - Girls and Mommy (They also have spelling on Tues. and Thurs.)

Easy Grammar Workbooks - Boys (same as Monday and Wednesday.)

1:15 - 2:30 Lunch Break 

If we need milk from the dollar store or have to go to the pharmacy window, that will usually happen at the end of the lunch break. I buy five gallons of milk once a week (2 jugs nonfat and 3 jugs 2%), but we need one additional milk run before a week is up.

2:30 - 3:00

All About Spelling Level 2 & 3 - Boys and Mommy 
We switched to All About Spelling this year. It's recommended that you take older students through all the levels so they don't miss any of the spelling rules. Level 2 is too easy so I try to cover both 2 and 3 at the same time, only covering words from Level 2 that are needed to illustrate the spelling rules they don't know well.

Free Time - Girls (Without interrupting Momma's spelling lessons with the boys.)

3:00 - 3:30  Read-Aloud

Mom reads aloud from the girls' Sonlight Core B read-aloud list. My husband reads aloud to the boys later at night from their Sonlight Core G read-aloud list. However, the boys also enjoy listening to the girls' selections. They're highly funny, engaging books! We just finished Owls In the Family by Farley Mowat, and now we're into Henry Huggins by Beverly Cleary. On Fridays we read from Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.

3:30 - 3:45 Afternoon Clean-Up

We tidy up the house. I wipe down the bathrooms or sweep, and finish up kitchen chores. The kids put away anything they've left out during the day. If it gets way too messy before this, we do five- minute pick-up segments during the day.

3:45 - 5:30 Free Time 

Free time inside or out, depending on temperature and precipitation. In other seasons, they're outside during snack break and lunch break also.

Or, complete any unfinished school work.

5:30 - 6:30 Take Turns in Shower and Free Time 

Mom makes dinner, sometimes with kids' help, while also shuffling laundry and conditioning the 6-year-old's hair. Kids clear off table for dinner.

6:45 Dinner

Husband joins us when he arrives home at 7:00 PM. Having dinner this late isn't ideal, but it works for families in which Daddy works late.


7:30 Family Devotions & Prayer

We're currently working through Leading Little Ones to God, recommended by Sonlight as part of their Core B package.

8:10  Take vitamins, chronic-condition medicines, and brush teeth. If there are a lot of clothes in the kids' individual laundry baskets, they fold those and put them away after teeth brushing.

8:30  Daddy reads to boys. Mom reads picture books to kindergartner, and most often the 2nd grader cuddles with us too.

8:50 Bedtime for girls

9:20 - Bedtime for boys

Before bed I...read the Bible, get teaching materials ready for the next day, pay any necessary bills, research any curriculum or methods or books, order school supplies, or read blogs and/or write a blog. If there's a major news story ongoing, I read about that (we have no TV signal, so online news is all we have). I tend to stay up late because all of this takes time. My husband is on his feet all day, so he generally goes to bed by 10 PM. Two to three times a week, I also go to bed early.

My days are full and fabulous, despite the difficult health conditions we deal with. I couldn't be more grateful for this lifestyle. Being together so much strengthens and grounds us, and prepares us to serve God with joy when we go out into the world, at church, at the library, in the neighborhood, at appointments, on errands. We pray for each other and share each other's burdens, and remind each other to give it all to God. Even when things are messy and some are in bad moods, it's still all good, all building toward a stronger character as we stumble but keep trying to be like Jesus.

Weekly Wrap-Up


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

A Day in the Life Homeschooling Ages 6, 8, 11, and 13 (Updated)



We complete one set of subjects on Monday,Wednesday, and Friday, and another set on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with some overlapping. Today I'll share our Mon-Wed-Fri schedule, and later this week our Tuesday-Thursday schedule.

A Word About Vision and Goals

You might notice we don't have any extra-curriculars scheduled. We aren't big on them because they tend to crowd out family devotions and family dinners, which are what we feel strengthen families and provide kids with rock-solid foundations--something peers and extra-curricular teachers can't do for us.

If one of my children happened to be a gymnastics super star, or an exceptionally talented soccer champ, we might feel differently about extra-curriculars, but our children's God-given strengths and interests don't happen to be in organized sports or lessons. They play sports in the backyard with each other, which makes them happy. Free time is important to them.

Additionally, my children have each other to play with, whereas smaller families may need more outside stimulation. Each family has unique needs, and each home-managing couple has to find ways to meet those needs the best they can, in ways that uphold the family's vision statement (or philosophy).

Friday Changes On Friday afternoons things are different than what is scheduled below. We schedule two hours for art/crafts or baking, and then we go to the library, though this is subject to change if something special is going on at the library on another day. But generally, Friday works best.

One or possibly two of my children have dyslexia, and another has dyscalculia and dysgraphia. The All About Spelling and All About Reading programs both address those special needs. Also, I have one case of ADHD. two cases of OCD, and one case of Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My youngest has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. All of these needs together make it necessary to stick to a structured schedule. Everyone is happier with structure here--structure with room for creativity.

If there are doctor's appointments to schedule, I try to make them after 2 PM, but not too close to dinner. Appointments tend to be at least once a week between the arthritis and other needs.



Monday, Wednesday, Friday

7:30 - Wake-Up 

I'm up at 7:30, in the shower at 7:40, after inserting a load of clothes. I dress, comb and scrunch my wet, permed hair, apply make-up and make my bed, and help the six-year-old with her bed.

The kids trickle out between 7:45 and 8:10, with Beth, age 6, often up first. They make their beds, get dressed, put their pajamas in the hamper, and then play with Legos, Hot Wheels, board games or whatever. It's basically free time until 8:30, but no computer.

Bible - Boys (If they get to bed late the night before for some reason, I let them sleep longer, and in that case they read the Bible before ending school for the day. They have a check-off sheet for each subject, and that has to be checked by me before they're finished for the day.)

8:30 - Breakfast & Devotions

We eat oatmeal or Cheerios or Shredded Wheat, and then we all rinse our bowls and gather for devotions in the living room. I'm reading from the Miller Family Series, currently in their Proverbs book called Wisdom And the Miller's, to which we all look forward.

After the reading we all take turns praying about our upcoming day, about the Proverb we learned, about various needs, after first giving thanks. 

The children will brush their teeth next, and I will fix the girls' hair.

9:30 - Quick Write Journals

They write in their journals for 15 minutes, with the kindergartner either using the Draw Write Now series of books, or working with me on Handwriting Without Tears. The kindergartner will often keep working into the next segment.

9:45 - 10:30 

All About Reading Level 2 - Mary (age 8) and Mommy 

Teaching Textbooks Math DVD program Level 7 - Peter (age 13)

Sonlight Literature Reading from World History Part 1 (Core G) - Paul (age 11)

Puzzles, Painting, PlayDoh, or Drawing - Beth (kindergarten)

10:30 - 11:15  (Everyone switches from the subjects above. The boys use the same curriculum so they have to rotate with some of the resources.)

All About Reading Level 1 - Beth (Grade K) and Mommy (She can only concentrate 30 minutes tops, and that's pushing it.)

Teaching Textbooks Math DVD  program Level 7 - Paul

Sonlight Literature Reading from World History Part 1 (Core G) - Peter

Puzzles, Painting, PlayDoh, or Drawing - Mary

11:15 - 11:45  Snack and Break

Children might do crafts, such as make up a miniature puppet theater, or get out the construction paper/scissors/glue, or play board games or cards after having a quick snack. If they're highly involved in their creations, this can go 20 to 30 minutes longer, but usually we stay on track.

I shuffle laundry throughout the day, including at this time. I also try to unload and load the dishwasher during this half-hour.

11:45 - 12:30 

Writing - Boys and Mommy

Making Books at Writing Center - Girls

Split Week - The segment below, 12:30 to 1:15, is split for the girls. Monday and Friday the girls do Saxon Math at this time, and on Wednesday they do All About Spelling. This splitting gives them 4 days per week of Math, and 3 days per week of spelling.

12:30 - 1:15 (Monday and Friday Only)

Saxon Math - Girls and Mommy (Beth, the K student, doesn't work the whole 45 minutes.)

Easy Grammar Workbooks - Boys

Paul plays the piano after grammar. He's teaching himself with piano books, with the goal of being able to play music at Christmas for his family, or hymns for his family devotions. 

12:30 - 1:15 (Wednesday Only)

All About Spelling Level 1 - Girls and Mommy 

Easy Grammar Workbooks - Boys (same as Monday and Wednesday for boys.)

1:15 - 2:30 Lunch Break 

If we need milk from the dollar store or have to go to the pharmacy window, that will usually happen at the end of the lunch break. I buy five gallons of milk once a week (2 jugs nonfat and 3 jugs 2%), but we need one additional milk run before a week is up.

2:30 - 3:00

All About Spelling Level 2 & 3 - Boys and Mommy 
We switched to All About Spelling this year. It's recommended that you take older students through all the levels so they don't miss any of the spelling rules. Level 2 is too easy so I try to cover both 2 and 3 at the same time, only covering words from Level 2 that are needed to illustrate the spelling rules they don't know well.

Free Time - Girls (Without interrupting Momma's spelling lessons with the boys.)

3:00 - 3:30  Read-Aloud

Mom reads aloud from the girls' Sonlight Core B read-aloud list. My husband reads aloud to the boys later at night from their Sonlight Core G read-aloud list. However, the boys also enjoy listening to the girls' selections. They're highly funny, engaging books! We just finished Owls In the Family by Farley Mowat, and now we're into Henry Huggins by Beverly Cleary. On Fridays we read from Mrs. Piggle Wiggle.

3:30 - 3:45 Afternoon Clean-Up

We tidy up the house. I wipe down the bathrooms or sweep, and finish up kitchen chores. The kids put away anything they've left out during the day. If it gets way too messy before this, we do five- minute pick-up segments during the day.

3:45 - 5:30 Free Time 

Free time inside or out, depending on temperature and precipitation. In other seasons, they're outside during snack break and lunch break also.

Or, complete any unfinished school work.

5:30 - 6:30 Take Turns in Shower and Free Time 

Mom makes dinner, sometimes with kids' help, while also shuffling laundry and conditioning the 6-year-old's hair. Kids clear off table for dinner.

6:45 Dinner

Husband joins us when he arrives home at 7:00 PM. Having dinner this late isn't ideal, but it works for families in which Daddy works late.


7:30 Family Devotions & Prayer

We're currently working through Leading Little Ones to God, recommended by Sonlight as part of their Core B package.

8:10  Take vitamins, chronic-condition medicines, and brush teeth. If there are a lot of clothes in the kids' individual laundry baskets, they fold those and put them away after teeth brushing.

8:30  Daddy reads to boys. Mom reads picture books to kindergartner, and most often the 2nd grader cuddles with us too.

8:50 Bedtime for girls

9:20 - Bedtime for boys

I do the dishes, sometimes with my husband's help, but he often has to talk on the phone with his 92-year-old father, who lives alone in Florida by choice. I also check for any last laundry loads to shuffle.

Before bed I...read the Bible, get teaching materials ready for the next day, pay any necessary bills, research any curriculum or methods or books, order school supplies, or read blogs and/or write a blog. If there's a major news story ongoing, I read about that (we have no TV signal, so online news is all we have). I tend to stay up late because all of this takes time. My husband is on his feet all day, so he generally goes to bed by 10 PM. Two to three times a week, I also go to bed early.

My days are full and fabulous, despite the difficult health conditions we deal with. I couldn't be more grateful for this lifestyle. Being together so much strengthens and grounds us, and prepares us to serve God with joy when we go out into the world, at church, at the library, in the neighborhood, at appointments, on errands. We pray for each other and share each other's burdens, and remind each other to give it all to God. Even when things are messy and some are in bad moods, it's still all good, all building toward a stronger character as we stumble but keep trying to be like Jesus.

Galatians 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Simple Woman's Daybook 1/20/15


Outside my window

After one snow day in November and nothing in December, Ohio is finally receiving some semi-regular snow, evidenced by several snowmen in the neighborhood. Snow is winter's fancy dressing, like leaves in fall and flowers in spring. I sincerely missed it.

I am thinking

We missed eight days of school due to the flu and its aftermath. I'm so thankful for some very productive school days now, with a new, detailed winter schedule leaving nothing out. Without a detailed schedule, we don't do well here. The more children you're schooling, the more necessary it is to be intentional, and accountable to a detailed schedule reflecting your values and goals.

Our Internet was down for four days and we learned that we're more productive here without it. My basketball fans were hoping to keep up with college basketball scores, but during the outage they learned they're fine with not knowing how a game turned out. The children and I resolved to keep Internet use to a minimum, with no checking up on our interests until school and chore hours end. We all share one PC so allowing everyone on each day can be a challenge, but it's working to keep its use to after 3:45 PM, except for the boys' math DVD program.

I am reading

During morning devotions we're reading Wisdom And the Miller's, based on Proverbs, which is the best devotional I've ever used with children. It's appropriate for multiple ages, including teens. I love it so much I read ahead in the evenings. The stories used to illustrate each Proverb are engrossing and highly convicting for all.




For evening devotions with Daddy, we're reading Leading Little Ones to God by Marian Schoolland.

I'm reading my way through John in the Bible.

I've ordered several other Miller Family Series resources, and just today I ordered Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel.






I am thankful...

~ for the privilege of being a parent. It's incredibly challenging but I love it immensely.

~ for 4 little hearts to shape for His glory, by his grace.

~ for Proverbs, Psalms and the Gospels...really the whole Word of God.

~ that my Paul loves reading the Bible.

~ for family prayer.

~ that we are all finally well again!

~ for reaching the teen years with Peter, as of January 11, and we're still close!

~ for the All About Spelling program, which all the children love.

~ for my husband's hard work and dedication to his family.

~ for a clean bill of health after my diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. I'm so glad that's over! There were some benign cyst areas. This type of detailed mammogram was very painful, with its intense squeezing of the breast tissue (a more intense squeezing than a regular mammogram). I had to think, privately, "You've got to be kidding me! Aren't you injuring tissue with this thing?" You're not supposed to breathe while she takes the picture. While it's painful, it's also fast once she places you and gets behind the camera.

Afterwards the tech asked me if I'd had any trouble with discharge from my breasts (one of the breast cancer signs), because she saw a discharge during the squeezing, which I was unaware of in my pained state. When she told me about it I felt ninety percent certain it was probably breast milk leftover. Most women can squeeze a few drops out months after nursing, but it doesn't occur to us to do this.

I had to then get an ultrasound partially because of the fluid she saw. I told the ultrasound tech about finishing nursing just 18 months prior, which she relayed to the doctor who reads the films. The doctor thought that was a sufficient explanation and said not to worry about it.

I don't look forward to yearly mammograms after this experience! I had no idea what to expect prior to getting my first mammogram in December. Honestly, I thought you stood there without a shirt and got an x-ray carefully targeted to only the breast. That's not what happens. A tech places your breast between some plates, which squeeze it to practically a pancake quite frankly, allowing for a detailed picture. Two films are taken on each side from different angles. A regular mammogram does not necessary hurt, however. Just the diagnostic type, in my experience.

Scriptures for family life encouragement

Proverbs 12:7 The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous stands firm.

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Proverbs 31:28-29 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Joshua 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Genesis 33:5 Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked. Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.”

Romans 8:16-17 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Galatians 4:4-7 But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out,“Abba,Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.

Ephesians 1:3-6 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Ephesians 6:1-2 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:18-20 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Have a good week!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Discernment In 2015


One of the more damaging things that dysfunctional homes produce, particularly substance-addiction homes, is children who grow up confusing pity with love. At adolescence these children choose boyfriends or girlfriends they pity, thinking they're in love. They choose friends they pity, thinking they can rescue them. Or they choose friends unwisely simply because, deep down, they don't think they deserve any better.

I have confused pity with love my whole life, and it wasn't until this year, having silenced my mom's voice in my life through an ultimatum--stop drinking and verbally abusing me, or I stop the relationship--that I've become completely conscious of my dysfunctional pitying.

Like so many of my posts, this one is primarily me preaching to myself about past mistakes so I won't repeat them. My word for 2015 is discernment.

Here are a few examples of my folly.

Example 1

There was a 70-year-old woman in our former church who didn't have any family support, no children of her own, who had come out of an abusive childhood home (physical and mental abuse). Abrasive at times, judgmental, and gossipy, she loved attention and would go to great lengths to get it, even monopolizing Bible studies with her grandstanding, exaggerating situations to garner pity, and manipulating people for her own ends. Truly, she only cared about herself and used people at will, but there was some kindness there at times--perhaps just enough to rope people in.

When her Bible study leaders, a married couple, sat down with her and told her she had to change her behavior or not come back to study, she called me and poured out her sob story, garnering much pity, even as I sympathized with her study leaders, being acquainted with her dysfunctional personality myself. What did I do, with my pitying ways? With husband's permission I started a Bible study here for "my friend" and her husband and one other family, with the permission of her former study leaders (the husband being an elder).

They came once and then came up with excuses (and sometimes we had to cancel due to illness), primarily because it wasn't large enough for her to get any real attention, and she didn't want a Bible study. She wanted attention and pity.

When her husband fell on some ice and became partially disabled for a season, she would call and ask to come over and watch a family movie with us, while still not being available for Bible studies. She was desperate for fellowship, she would say, but it always came out the same--her being an attention monger and subtly abrasive, while not really caring about us (isn't true fellowship a give and take?), or even really caring about her husband, although it took time for me to see this truth.

The other family (mother and two adult daughters. one of whom was severely disabled) came for several months, but I had to discontinue it because of worsening anxiety disorders here, and because I learned this family already belonged to six Bible studies. They certainly didn't need another, especially if it was stressful for us, the Bible study invite having included a dinner here beforehand.

I hate quitting things and feel like a failure every time it happens, but I chronically overextend myself and have to quit something at least a couple times a year. This overcommiting is another characteristic of adult children of alcoholics. They try to rescue so many people, they end up messing up their own lives.

That's where I drew the line when deciding whether to quit something: My children come first. God blessed me with them as my primary ministry and responsibility, outside of being a wife.

Some adult children of alcoholics grow up to drink themselves and attract enablers, rather than trying to rescue people (or they do both). I ended up with the least damaging characteristics, and for that I'm grateful to God, who had his hand in my life even before I sought him.

Example 2

We have a neighbor boy who lives with his grandmother, who has raised him since he was 18 months old, following the death of his mother. He came to Bible study here for two years, but that ended recently, and he also accompanies us to AWANA. Learning that three nights per week he had to go with his grandmother on her night-time custodial jobs, lasting until 10 PM, I offered to watch him a couple nights a week. His grandmother initially said she was thinking about asking for my help anyway. She indicated she would call me the next week to discuss it.

Instead of ever calling, she just came to the door one day the next week, and dropped him off, telling me he had autism, anger issues, depression, and ADHD. This gave me no option, without hurting the child, of backing out, in my mind. I hadn't noticed all of these disorders when he came for Bible study. He was relatively easy to deal with in our prior experience, and it didn't seem like it would be an over-extension to help them out.

I didn't like the way she handled it up front, as we weren't prepared for him that first day. Not to mention, I already have my hands full with my own children's disorders. But it felt like the right thing to do, so we gave it a try.

His behavior became problematic within two weeks, primarily because he was here far more hours and became overly comfortable, not caring about displaying his best guest behavior. There were other hardships entailed in the endeavor, including that he frequently came while ill. Over his Christmas holiday from school, we prepared for him as usual, but he never came those two weeks, and we didn't get a phone call. I couldn't go anywhere those days, expecting him at 4 PM each of our non-holiday babysitting afternoons.

He showed up at my door again after he returned to school, with no explanation or phone call. I had called the previous day to say we had the flu, just in case he showed up, but they didn't get the message.

Today I wrote her a note, giving her all the reasons I couldn't continue to help right now--there were four legitimate reasons--and I offered to watch him just once a week after cold and flu season was over, in early May. Beth's arthritis gets worse with each virus, since the autoimmune response to illnesses causes the disease to attack her joints even more. And her immunosuppressant drug makes illness problematic for another reason, although she's made it through the flu without a doctor visit, thank the Lord.

Example 3

I have tried to help other neighborhood kids, telling our friend Lexie to come two afternoons a week for homework help. This child, after already being held back in early elementary, was seriously behind in her first year of middle school, failing most classes.

She either didn't show up on the designated homework days, or she showed up and wasn't interested in doing her homework for more than ten minutes. She wanted to play or have my undivided attention. She and her mother were taking advantage of me. Neither truly cared about this young lady's school performance (her mother refused to work with her, the reasons for which I'm unaware).

I still tried to counsel where I could when she came over to play (which happened less and less as she neared 13 years old) but otherwise I stepped away from this family, who also tried to chronically show up here while ill.

Their mother drinks, which is why I initially felt pulled to help change the course of our young friend's future (education giving her options for success, for example), but in the first few years we knew her, I was unaware of her mother's drinking. The brother came over for mostly outside playtime starting last summer, and he has his own serious problems.

Unfortunately, our young friend Lexie was recently sent back to fifth grade, which is probably all the schools could think of as a solution, given the family's failure to engage. The mother blamed the school problems on her daughter's ADHD, and on the school's failure to make allowances for her daughter's "handicap". Really, that was the easy way out, although I do believe Lexie has learning disabilities. But, she played outside all over the neighborhood and beyond until dark most nights, failing to do any homework. As she gained friends on other streets she was less and less engaged here, and I quickly gave up, perceiving that I wanted her to succeed more than she wanted it herself.

Some people who need help don't want it. They just want attention, but on their terms. They like to complain, but won't listen to solutions or follow through with them. They want your sympathy, your time, your energy, and any other resources you'll give them, but they don't want to behave responsibly or maturely, and unless you're a counselor, you may be wasting your time.

I just got a phone message from the 70-year-old woman from my former church, and it prompted me to sit down and preach this post to myself--warning me against pitying and enabling people who just want to suck me dry.

She left a long message, asking me to request that my children pray for her husband, and telling me many things to garner my pity, while at the same time insulting me subtly. She indicated how much she missed my children, but in truth, when she's here she doesn't pay much attention to them. She just wants our full, undivided attention. The spotlight must be on her, or she's not fulfilled or happy with the situation. I made the mistake of sending her a Christmas card, I suppose, which prompted the call. I had stepped away from her and her ongoing dysfunction last fall.

I have no trouble holding my children accountable for any dysfunctional behavior, but with adults, I shy away from confrontation, unfortunately.

This year, 2015, I will stop making these same mistakes. I must wait when the desire to help (or pity) comes knocking at my heart. Does the person truly want help? Can I really afford the time and effort? Do they have a history of dysfunction, and as such did they find me gullible and attractive as a target? How will it impact my family? What does the Word say? Can I love them through prayer instead? What is my primary motivation in wanting to help--is it love or pity? Prompted by the Word, or something else?

I enjoy immensely the time I spend loving our Compassion children--it's a worthy effort and absolutely deserving of our time and money. I must focus my efforts on my family and these worthy endeavors, and give all the other situations to God.

People stuck in dysfunctional lifestyles don't need other people necessarily, they need God. They need a teachable heart, a repentant heart, a saved heart. Until God gives them that, or until they tire of living in dysfunction and they're motivated to improve, they must be approached with utmost caution.

Romans 14:12 So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.


Romans 2:6 Who will render to every man according to his deeds

Galatians 6:5 For each will have to bear his own load.

Have you had similar experiences? How do you discern who to help, and who to leave to the Lord?

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